Funny Signs:

  • A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire - If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
  • A sign from a Majorcan shop entrance - Here speeching American.
  • A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest - It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
  • An ad for donkey rides in Thailand - Would you like to ride on your own ass?
  • At a Budapest zoo - Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
  • Car rental brochure in Tokyo - When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
  • Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan - Stop - Drive Sideways.
  • Doctor's Office in Rome - Specialist in women and other diseases.
  • From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo - When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
  • From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner - Cooles and Heates - If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
  • From a Russian chess book - A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
  • From the Soviet Weekly - There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
  • In a Bangkok dry cleaners - Drop your trousers here for best results.
  • In a Bangkok temple - It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
  • In a Belgrade hotel elevator - To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
  • In a Bucharest hotel lobby - The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
  • In a Copenhagen airline ticket office - We take your bags and send them in all directions.
  • In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency - Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
  • In a Hong Kong supermarket - For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
  • In a hotel in Athens, Greece - Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.
  • In a hotel in Yugoslavian - The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
  • In a Japanese hotel - You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
  • In a Japanese hotel room - Please to bathe inside the tub.
  • In a Leipzig, Germany elevator - Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
  • In a Norwegian cocktail lounge - Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
  • In a Paris hotel elevator - Please leave your values at the front desk.
  • In a Rhodes, Greece tailor shop - Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
  • In a Rome laundry - Ladies, leave your clothes here & spend the afternoon having a good time.
  • In a Swiss mountain inn - Special today -- no ice cream.
  • In a Tokyo bar - Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
  • In a Tokyo Hotel - Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
  • In a Tokyo shop - Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
  • In a Vienna hotel - In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
  • In a Zurich hotel - Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
  • In an Acapulco hotel - The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
  • In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist - Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.
  • In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers - Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
  • In an East African newspaper - A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
  • In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastary - You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
  • In the office of a Roman doctor - Specialist in women and other diseases.
  • In the window of a Swedish furrier - Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
  • On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong - Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
  • On the door of a Moscow hotel room - If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
  • On the menu of a Polish hotel - Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
  • On the menu of a Swiss restaurant - Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
  • Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop - Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
  • Outside a Paris dress shop - Dresses for street walking.
  • Sign from a Majorcan shop entrance - English well talking